Where were you GOD?

I asked the question and God answered:


I WAS THERE ALL THE TIME. . .

I've been there, where this Mother was standing. . .

Oh, it wasn't outside of a surgery unit. . .

No. .

We found ourselves standing outside the PICU. . .

in one of the top rated teaching hospitals in the world. . .

with the lead pediatrician in charge. . .

while our adorable, blonde haired, blue eyed, dimpled,

always smiling little cherub fought for his life. . .

and lost. . .

so yes, I know the agony this mother felt. . .

I was so very, very angry with God. . .oh I held it together in public. . .

everyone commented on how well we were doing. . .

but in the privacy of my own room. . .flinging myself out across my bed. . .

I would scream at God. . .how could you do this to me?. . .

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

It's not fair. . .it's not fair God. . .

I don't understand. . .

there is nothing you can say to me that is going to make me understand this. . .

but somehow, we survived. . .

we survived the grief, and the agony. . .

somehow our marriage survived. . .

and we kept what was left of our little family intact. . .

and slowly, slowly, began to rebuild a life for ourselves. . .

and God was faithful. . .and his promises were true. . .

and his blessings were abundant.

So many blessings. . .an adopted son who looks so much like us,

you won't be able to tell the difference. . .he is my joy. . .

sometimes I have to call just to hear his voice. . .

and adorable, precious grandchildren. . .four of them. . .nothing compares to one of their hugs. . 

So yes, God was there. . .

do I understand?. . .

NO. . .

but someday I will,

and until that day. . .I will keep pressing toward the mark of the calling of the Most High. . .

The Candle Lighting Your Darkness

I love the Women of Faith blog so much that I have it automatically sent to my Google Reader each morning.  That way, I don't need to think about it. . .it's there. . .I can read the thought for the day. . .it only takes a few seconds, and it almost always leaves me contemplating some aspect of my walk with God.  

This morning's thought, Survival Tips, and excerpt from Sandi Patti's book Falling Forward, really caused me to stop and to wonder. . .

I wonder how many have been to that dark, dark place. . .to that place where you seemed so alone. . .where it seemed that no one. . .not even God cared about where you were?  


To a place so dark, there was not even a flicker of a candle shining to give you hope.


Where do you go when you reach that place? 


I thought of my sweet precious, sister in law, who, when her only child was stolen from her by a drunk driver, admitted in her writings, that she was unable to pray for an entire year. . .and yet, finally, finally a glimmer of light began to shine through.  


What is your glimmer?  


What is going to get you through those dark, lonely times?


Is the assurance that God is there, even when He seems, far, far away going to be enough to get you through?  


As the article said, it may take just having a check list to get you through each step of life, until finally you can reach that place where you know that God is there. . .He says, "I will NEVER leave you, nor forsake you."


In our darkest moments, clinging to that promise may be only thing that gets us through.


If you have been to that place, can you offer some hope to others. . .just a glimmer of what got you through?


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Everyday, I try to share a quick uplifting link that I have found.