I Miss My Time With You

I miss my time with you, those moments together, I need to be with you each day, and it hurts me when you say, you're too busy. . .

I went to bed with this song on my mind. . .and thought about how very far I have come in developing a prayer life. . .

Now I know as a Christian you are just supposed to love to pray. . .but somehow I missed the connection, and did not feel the love. . .seriously, growing up as a child, prayer time was sheer agony. . .my parents would get on a kick, and decide that we were going to have family devotionals. . .only they weren't joyful. . .and they involved the entire family kneeling around the couch while my Mom prayed, and prayed, and prayed. . .goodness, sometimes it just went on forever. . .

and as if that wasn't enough. . .all children were required to go to the prayer room for fifteen minutes before every service. . .do you know how long fifteen minutes is to a child. . .eternity. . .

so this was my experience with prayer growing up. . .and frankly, although I knew it was a necessity, and a need and a requirement. . .it still remained agony for me. . .

until. . .I heard the words to this song. . .on the drive to work each morning, I learned that an easy way to get into God's presence was through awesome music. . .this particular song just happened to be on a Larnelle Harris project entitled From a Servants Heart . . .

I would play this song over and over, and sing it as a prayer . . the words, you're too busy, busy trying to serve me. . .but how can you serve me when your spirit's empty. . .

spoke to me, and I knew, I just knew that this was so true. . .that even though I was so busy working in the Kingdom, it was truly with an empty spirit. . .

I began to analyze how God must feel when he sees us running around like crazy people. . .doing stuff. . .doing this. . .doing that. . .teaching classes. . .singing in the choir. . .even worshiping, but yet there is no true relationship. . .I began to compare my relationship to God to having a friendship. . . and I began to realize that a friendship is not always this intense. . .gut wrenching. . .crying. . .sobbing. . .relationship. . .sometimes it is just being in your friends presence. . .no words are needed. . .you just enjoy the pleasure of their company. . .

I began to want to just enjoy being in God's presence. . .I wanted to understand what it meant when Jesus said, if an earthly father would give good gifts to his children. . . how much more would your Heavenly Father give good gifts . . .

As I began, on a regular basis, to study God's attributes. . .to read about God's goodness. . .to understand God's Promises. . .I truly began to develop a relationship where I enjoyed prayer. . .it was no longer a drudgery. . .but an expectation of dwelling in the Presence of the Most High God. .

My prayer for you is that you will develop your own, very personal, relationship with your Heavenly Father. . .